I'm not a Psychiatrist

2011-04-30T07:06:00.000-07:00

Recently I have been having the most terrible sleep. It doesn't matter where I am. I could be at home in my favorite bed, or I could be at my fiance's parents house and no matter how quiet, cold or comfortable I may feel I still wake up about 4 to 5 times a night and it drives me nuts!! The other night it was chest pain all night and heart burn and pressure in my lower back. Last night I couldn't breathe half the night because my nose was closed due to my allergies. you can see my bags because I am so tired. When I finally get a good sleep going...well about an hour later my alarm goes off telling me to wake up and get to it. I get so annoyed by it too. ALL I WANT IS A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP. I want to be able to breathe. I want all the pain to be gone and I want it to be easy to fall asleep. I don't want to wake up between 1 and 5 to go to the bathroom. I want to sleep straight through. I want to stop peeing 10-15 times a day. I want the pain in my chest(it is not heartburn related trust me) to go away because it makes me GRUMPY company and I DISLIKE coming off like a really mean old lady. I want to be able to sleep without my cats both meowing the top of their tiny little kitty lungs. or clawing the carpet outside the bedroom door. ugh ugh ugh. Sleep please stop deceiving me. :(

Random mind expolosions

2011-04-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

My other blogger account was apparently deleted....I guess I didn't use it enough but I had a lot of writing on the other page, and I lost it all. I am quite upset about it. But I guess at the same time it is a new way to start over, since it is a new time in my life. I'm getting married in eartly September. I have an amazing fiance. I live in a new apartment, I have two cuddly cats, and I have about 100 fish. We have a new 55 galon tank, that came with a stand and everything, and it was 99 dollars on craigslist. Its very nice. We really like it.

I have two families I babysit for and I really love it. Andrew Just wishes I made more. It's pretty pathetic I haven't asked for a raise but I know both families cannot afford it. But I know in September the one family is going from one child to two, and the other family will have two children in school all day and I will only be watching the one little boy (he is 16 months old) and I will have him until he is in Kindergarten. So I know there is job security. Unless I do something terribly wrong but I love these kids and wouldn't be anything but kind to them. Occassionally I have to be stern but thats about it. They are very good kids.

I enjoy my life, I love my finacee. He keeps me happy, but I think he finds it to be a very hard task because I always seem bored, even when I am not, but I have those facial expressions, but I am usually just off in my own little world. I mean I tell him everything and I don't keep secrets from him, so really there is nothing he doesn't know. Which we both think is a good thing.

I see my parents about once a month. I really like it where I am and going home sometimes just makes me so peeved, but sometimes it is nice to see them.

I think I am looking forward to getting new fishies. We recently decided to get Cychlids. We just bought our kitties a cat tree and they love it!! They constantly lounge on there and they also lay by the window in their bed. But their tree looks out over the balcony (but glass is preventing them from going outside) and they watch the birds, but right now they are both asleep and not pestering me with meows.

Well I guess I'm done. More soon.

Recent Quips

2011-04-17T18:04:00.000-07:00

I recently have been hearing nothing but complaints, or rather seeing them. It drives me INSANE when people complain about how much they hate their lives. If you're having a bad day, ok I understand. But, EVERYDAY the same people say it repeatedly. If you hate your life so much, why don't you just do something to make it better? Try putting more positive things in your life, instead of Facebooking how much you want to kill yourself. If you really want to kill yourself maybe you should go get some theraputic help and focus on what about you makes you a good person.

Like let me just throw out an example: This dude "Scott" hates that he is single, so he searches and searches, and comes up with nothing. He complains he's depressed and he constantly have people telling him that he just needs to focus on himself, and wait for the right girl to come along. Yet, he still complains how he only wants to make ladies happy and all us ladies do is shoot him down and say there are no good guys out there. THATS NOT TRUE. I know I have the most amazing guy in my life and to me he is a PERFECT GOOD GUY! He also rushes into relationships and then forces the relationship to go to the next level too quickly. Then when it ends he gets all depressed, BASHES the girl for dumping him and then goes back to being depressed. It just pisses me off that he doesn't take the time to consider countless peoples' advice. i MEAN if he is going to ask for advice, why not try accepting some of it? He also never takes the blame for anything that goes wrong in the relationship, which is most likely why it ends....

OK, so next little issue I have been noticing...
"I better get an invitation to your wedding" and "You can't do that, you need to do it this way". I am getting married without a wedding...there are only certain people invited and thats it. I don't need people telling me how it has to be done because my finacee and I are going to do it our way because it is our wedding! So BACK OFF!!!

Stop asking about wedding plans, because its just not happening the way you want it to. No dress, no reception, JUST a vow exchange. That's how we want it. We pick who gets to be there, not you. Keep your opinions to yourself please.

I guess I'll end this one here, because its only going to make me go to bed angry.

I just wish people would stop complaining about their lives...change it....nothing is written in stone...it's most likely written on recycled paper....